Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
A bitchslap is in order.
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