where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
