Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
