sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
