am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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