Im at strip club and am horny
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
