im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
