Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Sext me about skeletons
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
