I love black thongs
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
