We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
