Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
