You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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