I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
