you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
