Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
