There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dicks are not precious.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
