turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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