Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
