Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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