I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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