That's intense
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
