There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
