Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
