Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
