Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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