I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
