You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
