his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
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