It's like God shit irony all over that family
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
