you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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