You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
