i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
