my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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