you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
