he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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