if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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