So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Terrible idea I love it
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize