I'm really into asian looking animals
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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