I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
