just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
