and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my shit smells like andre
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
