She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You ruined the universe
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
