I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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