just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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