dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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