She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
