you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
