if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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