Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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