Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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