Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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