I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just googled if crying burns calories
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
