Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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