found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
