So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
